Stupid Facebook search, how are you going to show me all the __________s in the world except the one I know?
How is Bing able to find her profile and you can't? It's fucking BING, for chrissake...
Wow. She looks happy. Why aren't I that happy?
Should I friend her? I shouldn't friend her. Should I?
I'm gonna friend her.
Oh, that's right. I sent her a request two years ago.
Guess that's a "no," then.
I think I'll cancel the request. Can you do that?
Yeah. Just have to remember not to try again in two years.
Damn, she looks like she's really doing well. What's her relationship status?
I shouldn't look for it.
Fuck, where is it?
I guess she hasn't listed it. Probably a smart move.
I'm a dick. I was a dick. But I'm better now.
Am I? Probably not.
Don't re-send a friend request. Don't re-send a friend request. Don't re-send a friend request.
Fuck, why did I do this?
She looks really good. Really, really good.
I gotta stop this. This isn't healthy.
Can I look at her photos? I can.
I shouldn't.
Yep, she looks really good in every one of these photos.
Who's that guy? Fuck that guy. Is he tagged? No.
Probably for the best. Fucking dick. I hate that guy.
Don't re-send a friend request.
What was wrong with me? Is it still wrong with me?
I really hate that guy. Whoever he is.
Another guy? What the fu—
Oh, these are a couple of years old. She could be single by now, right?
Right?
I should try to friend her again.
No, I shouldn't.
Shit, I suck. I'm an idiot.
Don't re-send a friend request. Don't do it. Don't you fucking dare do it.
I'm gonna do it.
No, I'm not.
Ugh.
I already looked at all these photos.
I'm gonna read her status updates. All of them.
This is insane. I hate myself so much right now.
Bitch. You know what I should do? I should look for people that look like her on Redtube, that's what I should do.
Don't cry, dammit. Don't you fucking dare.
There's no way to search for "someone who looks like __________" on Redtube. Nor is there a way to search for "anything to stop me from feeling regret."
Maybe if I Google it.
Wow, that's a lot of useless "How To"s. I don't have the time to read this sappy crap.
I think I'll go buy a bottle of whiskey and watch Batman cartoons until I pass out.
Best idea of the night, right there.
