One thing dystopian novelists like Huxley and Orwell never anticipated was the Internet, its breadth of scope and the way it has changed the nature of discourse, how we receive and whether we believe information or misinformation.

As such, it may very well be that the one thing that will keep their horrific visions of the future from coming true is the free exchange of information on the Internet.

The Internet will come to be recognized as the single most important factor in the way that democracy evolves and becomes an ever greater and freer system of governance.

Knowledge is power, and with the Internet, every man is a king.

It's just one of those things. You get a booty call from some cougar you were banging months before, go home for a handful of condoms, get over there, not quite as drunk as she is but almost, and you can't get it up because you realize she's way too old for you. The wrinkles and age spots stand out to you, the sagging catches your eye, and you know it's not HER fault, but it just makes your boy SAG and no amount of convincing will change his mind.

Okay, that's not fair, there's been a number of occasions in which I couldn't "perform," but I chalk it up to "performance anxiety." This time, though, I just couldn't help seeing the wrinkles and age spots and I try to tell myself I'm not a shallow person, but I totally am. What does that mean anyway? SHALLOW.

IF I like someone because she's genetically endowed with big tits and a tight ass, I'm shallow. IF I like someone because she's genetically endowed with great intellect and the capacity for a good personality, I'm NOT shallow. But aren't they both kind of the luck of the draw? Aren't they both in the jackpot?

Though some men find intelligent women intimidating. My self esteem is too good for that. I can accept an intelligent woman. But it's only because I'm (or would like to consider myself to be) an intelligent man. No intimidation there, I say, because you can be as smart as you want. I'm smart too, more often than not smarter.

But that's my hubris, my pride. Maybe if I met a woman who could convince me she was smarter than I was, I WOULD be intimidated. Actually, terrified. I do have a huge ego to take into account, but I haven't met a man yet who could convince me he is smarter than me. I see congressmen way dumber than I am, most of them actually, but they had the good fortune of, well, having a fortune, so they're congressmen and I'm nobody.

Obama actually is definitely smarter than me. One of the smarter presidents we've had in awhile, and thank God for that.

But the rest of these fuckers look like idiots to me. I'm a liberal, not a registered democrat because fuck that, but I'd call myself a liberal, at least a social liberal. I used to be a fiscal conservative, but now I'm not sure how to treat the economy. Seems to me like the "free market" thing isn't working out too great for most of us, and frankly the right has alienated me by having such medieval views on everything social, contradicting themselves at every turn when they claim to want "small government" and "personal liberties" and then saying "fuck you such-and-such a group that want rights." Yeah, so there's no way I'm siding with them if they're gonna be like that.

And there's no way I can fuck that cougar. I've tried, believe me have I tried, and it's not happening. Almost twice my age, and when we first met and I was too drunk to tell it was pretty much perfect. It worked out fine. Then we spent time in daylight, and I don't want to be a dick, I realize that I will get old someday too and twenty-somethings will have a hard time fucking ME, but I couldn't help but notice the years on her, the years she had on ME. And that's fine, seriously, and I wished I could have fucked her until we both came, a few times, but I really seem to need someone closer to my own age to be that turned on.

And I guess that's a good thing, it means I don't have an Oedipal complex (do you have to capitalize that?) or anything. But damn was SHE ever disappointed, and it sucks to disappoint people. People kind of rock, for as much as they totally suck, and it's a bummer to disappoint one of them.

And let me be clear, she does not gross me out, at all. She does turn ME on, and my dick got hard in intervals, when I was caught up in the moment, but when shit came down to it my boy backed right the fuck out of there. I'll admit, it might not be a lay I'd be proud of my whole life, and those are usually the ones that I try to dive into and my dick's like "No fuckin' way, dude, get outta here," because shockingly my dick might be smarter than my brain. But I'M MY BRAIN GODDAMMIT so why doesn't the dick obey me? And why is it smarter and more discerning than I am? Makes no fucking sense, does it?

But that's what's up.

I thank my lucky stars that this is a largely anonymous blog that gets read by nobody. Hopefully it's uninteresting to anybody but me, so they won't be fascinated enough to find out who the fuck couldn't get their dick hard for a cougar, but actually it doesn't even remotely matter.

"Limp-dicked motherfucker," or attempted?