I was wondering where people were getting all of this from, but then I came across this newest version of the New Testament that is being circulated. Here are some of the highlights:
“And verily, a company that is incorporated from many parts shall be considered a person! And if the Job Creators, or JOB-WEHs, deign to allow the least of these, their brethren, into the kingdom of heaven, it will be to collect their trash.”
“A woman's body is a sacred and holy thing, and as such its health should be left to God and God only,” declared Jesus from atop his dinosaur steed as he fire-bombed a family planning center, “because it honestly grosses men out.”
“A man that lies with a man is an abomination; a man that lies with a boy is … forgivable,” said the Lord as he cast a stone at a homosexual. “Remember when Judas kissed me? Yuck!”
“He who tries to help the poor of his nation instead of letting them help themselves is an enemy to God, and must be stopped.”
“The poverty, suffering, and starvation of your brothers and sisters that are less fortunate than you is totally not your problem,” explained Jesus as he showed the moneylenders to their booth, “After all, they can always pray for more money.”
“Indeed!” agreed a moneylender with a wink, “We certainly 'preyed' to get ours!”
And, lo! they did laugh heartily.
“Nobama 2012.”
Jesus wept.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
. . . For the Reader's Edification: I am not any kind of expert, on anything. All my opinions, beliefs, theories, etc. are based solely on exclusive worldviews and experiences. I do not, in any way, shape, or form, purport to appeal to anyone but myself. I accept that every argument I make is based on assumptions, whether derived from what I've read or thought I read, and that my credibility is entirely self-percieved . . .
No comments:
Post a Comment