Thursday, August 4, 2011

Drunk in the heat of the day and I can feel every drop of sweat trickle and tickle its way out of my tingling body, every tiny imperceptible hole screaming with the effort of pushing toxins from my blood. Harry Hou-fucking-dini and Sigmund Avoid. Pour a martini and forgive me if I'm paranoid, but I don't think that you're here for what you think you're here for. You want to know something about me, but there's nothing to know. I guarantee I'm as much a fool as you, or more. Talk to me, for just a second, and all you'll hear is yourself talking back, echoes of thoughts you had and were too terrified to put to words. Don't be scared. There is nothing to fear from an idea alone. Life is a trip and ideas are maps we can choose to follow, and whether you're careful or not doesn't matter at all so fuck being careful, be whatever you are. I will, and the breathing is ragged but it persists. Death is only the next step and I promised to never fear progress, because God told me it was His only way into the world, so die and smile while you do it. Die and Let Die, the old ways have to pass on or we will all pass on and end together. Breaking tiles with errant feet we dance a dance not yet invented and soon to be studied, we become the sculptors of history and hoist onto our shoulders the feet of every generation to come. We do not hold our children under the water lest it be Styx, and not to die and set us free but to strengthen and enslave our own fallen memories in service of the future of God and Man and Art. The seeds of Something More among rocky soil just wait for you to shit on them like we all shit on whatever is good before it can breathe and it suffocates or it concentrates and sprouts into the sun. Where are you now, on your way out of the shit? Me too.
Hold my hand, don't mind the sweat. We're almost there. What do you mean? What do I mean to you, what do you mean to you? Drift along just a little further, breathe in, reach up. Shhh.

There.
Cough, and you lost it, didn't you? Me too. I always fucking lose it. Let your eyes drift down again, but you won't get it back. It's ok. You're not supposed to.
Aaaaaaaaahh-ah! Stairs, lifting, lifting... come along now...

No comments: